He took his vorpal sword in hand

Just though I would post cus I am feeling rather random today.

Maybe cus I have been looking through Andre Jordans site (http://www.andrejordan.co.uk/) and he is really random.

Maybe cus my sister just reminded me about "The one-eyed, one Horned, purple people eater" which made me consider nonsense, which explains the title btw (Quote from The Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll.

Or Maybe it cus I have the Dentist today and as usually am bricking it quite severely!!!!

For those of you who don't know me I am quite a random person, who sometimes does thing for no apparent reason, and thinks really random things.

The The one-eyed, one Horned, purple people eater was something I remember fondly from my childhood. For those of you that don't know, it was a song by Sheb Wooley but what I remember was the one by Alvin and The Chipmunks, and is Monster the whilst looking quite vicious only eats purple people, this is because any other type of people are too tough. It was also made into a film, but I can remember many holiday trips, annoying my parents to death with that song on cassette (yes before CDs and MP3s I am really that old!) heres a link to the song if you too would like to be annoyed by it The one-eyed, One Horned, Purple People Eater.

Wasn't life soooo much better when you were a child, no worries about Council Tax, Phone Bills and Gas ans Electric Prices and you had never heard of the words, Credit Crunch or Recession.

Obviously that piece of nonsense made me thing of my favorite nonsense poem The Jabberwocky, again I loved this poem when I was a kid, I wont put all of it on here, go look for it yourself if you want to. On the over hand if anyone can work out what a Vorpal Sword is and what the hell Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, it would be appreciated. I would love to pull out my Vorpal Sword and Slay the Jabberwocky but alas I am a wuss and would probably run away.

Oh another tangent have you ever heard the words to the British National Anthem in full, not just the slow dirge "God save our Gracious Queen", we sound like blood thirsty maniacs, not that I have any problem with God saving the Queen, I am sure she is a nice lady, who likes Corgis, but really!

Lord grant that Marshal Wade
May by thy mighty aid
Victory bring.
May he sedition hush,
And like a torrent rush,
Rebellious Scots to crush.
God save the Queen!

I quite like Scotland and have no desire to crush them, personally I think "Singing in the Rain" would be a more appropriate Anthem and alot more god-dammed cheerful.

I digress from the weird and wonderful insights into my head.

Pain and crushing people now leads me on to the Sadist oops I mean the Dentist! You really have to be some sort of Sadomasochist to be a Dentist through really. Who would choose a profession that involved putting your hands in someones mouth and then drilling at it with power tools!!!
Another thing whats with the Pink yucky water they make you drink! whilst half your face is numb, so you dribble the whole contents down yourself looking like you have just had a stroke!

Why do they try and talk to you as well! Cus obviously you can answer with there hand in your gob!!!! In those sort of situation you don't want to talk you just want to close your eyes and get it over with.

Its like gynecologists, no sorry while I am in the most embarrassing position I will ever be in my life I don't want you asking if I had a good weekend, or If I have been on holiday, can they tell from down there!!!! It should be a rule no talking aloud, a bit like a library, with less shushing and hopefully less people as well.

Oh well thats enough of that for now need to go and face the music, and let the Sadistic little woman put her hands in my mouth and try not to choke me, and me to try not to bite her!!

Hope these ramblings cheered up your day

:)

Oh what a lovely weekend

Sorry about the gap between post but all will be explained

Guess I have been having fun again,

After my disastrous day the other day, the rest of the week disappeared into a stream of nothingness. I looked forward to the weekend, a break in the monotony of my week yay!

I woke up bright and breezy on Saturday morning, well I got up maybe bright and breezy is to much, but I was up. Managed to eat my breakfast and get dressed for my Saturday morning riding lesson. I tootle off fully suited and booted.

I arrive to find out we are going on a hack (a walk on the roads, bridleways etc), lovely, the weather did look a little dubious but it make a change from the normal lesson so what the hay. Accept for the fact they haven't booked me in last week! So they tell one on the small children who hang round riding centres to go and tack up Saxon, a 16ish hands bay, who is one of my favorites. YAY

So I follow this small child to Saxons stable an stand and watch her try to tack up Saxon, this was highly amusing as they seemed not to have a clue! Holding the bit next to the horses mouth whilst the bridle was dragging on the floor, with Saxon just turning his head and saying "No", moving again "I don't think so", Moving again "What do you want me to Do". They did manage in the end, and to my defence I did offer to help.

Now comes the fun bit, the Hack all was going well except for a small yappy dog behind a hedge, till I hear the grumblings of a motorbike behind me, whilst we were on a small country lane. I am at the back so shout up the the rest of the ride that a motorbike is coming, (there is about 7 kids on the ride and me and two instructor type people) I relax and put my leg on a bit, Saxon tends to take confidence from the rider, so try to be calm and confident. I kept thinking the motorbike will slow down in a minute....

It didn't!

Chaos erupts, Saxon rears and spins and I end up in a hedge, being some what horsey my first reaction is "aaarrrgghhh my horse is loose" so I disentangle myself from the bush and grab Saxon and glance around to see 6 of the 7 kids on the floor, one horse standing in a ditch. One horse standing shaking and ponies doing what ponies do best, PANIC PANIC oooo a tasty tree munch munch munch. The one horse who I expected to freak, (who previously during the hack had spooked at a bird, a dog, a armchair in the bushes, a road sign) was standing itching her nose with the rider still on.

That's when I felt it, my finger, it was drooped down and extremely painful! I could straighten it at all. This meant I had to be lead back, all the kids were fine btw, children bounce better than me it seems. Also a trip up the local walk in centre with Gemma my partner, after I drove very carefully back home.

She was also doing horsey things with our friend Debi, so we are sitting in a pristine waiting room in jodhpurs boots and chaps. For those of you who aren't horsey, horses have a very particular smell, which is vaguely unpleasant and lingers for a while. So we decide to sit away from everyone up a corner. Before this the receptionist asked if I had anyone with me and what there relationship to me was, I suppose I could have said my friend, but was feeling particular Narky and decided to tell her I was with my partner and her name is Gemma. The whole waiting rooms head spun round to look at me just as Gemma walked in (it was mainly full on old ladies and Gentleman), so I spent the rest of my time in the waiting room, smelling and being stared at. Fun, Gemma also pointed on a child who looked about 7 was behaving better than me!

In the end it was only sprained but I can't do any sport for at least three weeks grrr.

I hope this explains why it has been so long between posts, but typing with your fingers strapped together is a long and drawn out process and I decided to wait till I could use them to some degree before I attempted to type anything as long as this.