Should be working Really

I have decided that its too hot to be working, and have decided to blog instead, (Watch for Debi falling over in shock 2 blogs in a week)

My main problem is that I think my life isn't interesting to blog about.

This week has been fairly quiet really, after spending the majority of the weekend basking in the sun, plodded off to work on Tuesday (Monday was a bank Holiday Woo hoo), and decide to basically do bugger all, the good little Gemma sitting on my shoulder saying "You really need to do some work, you will only have to do it later in the week", while the naughty little Gemma on the other shoulder was saying "Screw it!, play on Facebook, and shoot baddies, Blog!" Unfortunately the naughty little Gemma won out.

Not many people admit to having little voices in their head but we, erm I mean I think it's perfectly normal.

This meant that I have had to spend the rest of the week catching up (with the good little Gemma smiling smugly and tell me "I told you so") expect for today when the Naughty One feels its too hot, oh well busy next week as well it seems.

Me and Gemma (not the naughty one, or the good one, but my partner) rang the estate agents who are responsible for our rented house, to see about renewing the contract, they are coming today, so mad cleaning session last night, not that it was that messy, just needed a hoover and a polish. After that we were both knackered, and decided to have a take-away mmmm pizza, and open a bottle of wine, and then another one, probably not the best idea as we both had work in the morning, I'm not that bad as I work in a office and can just shut my door, but Gemma is studying to become a ODP (basically a scrub nurse sort of thing), and is on placement in theatres at the moment.

As the night wore on, we finally made friends with next doors cat "Grace Kelly", it has only taken six months, but with the help of chicken and some tactical maneuvering Grace ended up sat on Gemmas lap purring her little head off.

So now the Good Little Gemma is bothering me again, so is my boss, So that enough blogging for a while, plus its POETS day today (Piss Off Early Tomorrows Saturday) so really should do some work, may add more later

A long time coming

Well after much prodding by my friend I have decided to wrote some more on my blog (apparently the Purple People Eater is driving her crazy)

I don't not update it on purpose its just finding the time, normally having to wait for my boss to be out of the office and my work load to be a little slower than normal. Which it finally has!

Well well well, what to update you on? Can't remember what has happen since I have last Blogged but here goes.

Last week at work was a right laugh! Well the first part was a little nasty.

I bit of background, I am first aid trained through my martial arts club, its a little pricey so decide to be cheeky and ask my boss it pay for it. He categorically said no, I thought hay ho, oh well, with moving into our own place this year couldn't really afford to do it. Not a big problem as other people at the Jujitsu club have it so it wont cause a problem there.

Then, one of the men at work was working on the steel guilottine (can you see where this is going?) and a large piece of steel got stuck. Him being not the brightest tool in the box, didn't turn the machine off and put his hand in to remove the piece of steel and managed to half remove his finger instead. My boss went running out to the workshop as soon as he found out and then proceeded to throw up in the corner


My boss is also the main first aider, obviously he couldn't deal with it so I had to. After much bandaging and a trip up A&E, my boss came to me rather sheepishly and told me "Maybe it would be a good idea if we paid for your First Aid Training" Hee hee hee (btw the lad is okay just in a hell of pain and and multiple stitches.

The next thing that happen was the funniest, again a bit of background, after the lads taking the piss with him supplying tea and coffee, (i.e drinking 3 litres of milk in 1 day) he stopped providing tea and coffee.

Again I am sitting in my office minding my own business and I hear a ruckus outside and yet again my boss was running outside I look out my window to see two of the lads rolling round the floor fighting! Wait for it over a tea bag!!!!! Apparently one lad had stolen the other lads tea bag! lol. Two formal warnings later and me giggling in my office the lads walking shamefaced round the workshop!

The last incident at work was about one of the new lads that had started, to put it blatantly he stinks, stale BO and slightly of wee! My boss much to his embarrassment and the lads had to take him into the office and tell him to have a wash because none of the other lads would work with him cause he was so stinky!

So at the end of the working week I was fairly knackered and highly amused! Than rolls on Saturday I went shopping to pick up a few bit and pieces of food with my mates daughter. It was about 3ish in the afternoon when I get a call from my better half asking me if we could have a BBQ, that night, bearing in mind we have no BBQ type food, no charcoal and mainly no BBQ!!

On the other hand really quite fancied a BBQ, so ran round like a headless chicken to get everything dragging my mates daughter with me (who was brilliant). Get home to erect the newly brought BBQ, to find it was actually made for Gnomes (the smallest BBQ I have ever seen) bearing in mind again we had at least 8 people coming! Rang my partner who managed to borrow a human sized one off on of our friends!

It was my first ever attempt at a BBQ, and it didn't turn out that badly!

A little more planning would have been good though!!

Thats it really hopefully Blogs will come more often, but who knows

He took his vorpal sword in hand

Just though I would post cus I am feeling rather random today.

Maybe cus I have been looking through Andre Jordans site (http://www.andrejordan.co.uk/) and he is really random.

Maybe cus my sister just reminded me about "The one-eyed, one Horned, purple people eater" which made me consider nonsense, which explains the title btw (Quote from The Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll.

Or Maybe it cus I have the Dentist today and as usually am bricking it quite severely!!!!

For those of you who don't know me I am quite a random person, who sometimes does thing for no apparent reason, and thinks really random things.

The The one-eyed, one Horned, purple people eater was something I remember fondly from my childhood. For those of you that don't know, it was a song by Sheb Wooley but what I remember was the one by Alvin and The Chipmunks, and is Monster the whilst looking quite vicious only eats purple people, this is because any other type of people are too tough. It was also made into a film, but I can remember many holiday trips, annoying my parents to death with that song on cassette (yes before CDs and MP3s I am really that old!) heres a link to the song if you too would like to be annoyed by it The one-eyed, One Horned, Purple People Eater.

Wasn't life soooo much better when you were a child, no worries about Council Tax, Phone Bills and Gas ans Electric Prices and you had never heard of the words, Credit Crunch or Recession.

Obviously that piece of nonsense made me thing of my favorite nonsense poem The Jabberwocky, again I loved this poem when I was a kid, I wont put all of it on here, go look for it yourself if you want to. On the over hand if anyone can work out what a Vorpal Sword is and what the hell Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, it would be appreciated. I would love to pull out my Vorpal Sword and Slay the Jabberwocky but alas I am a wuss and would probably run away.

Oh another tangent have you ever heard the words to the British National Anthem in full, not just the slow dirge "God save our Gracious Queen", we sound like blood thirsty maniacs, not that I have any problem with God saving the Queen, I am sure she is a nice lady, who likes Corgis, but really!

Lord grant that Marshal Wade
May by thy mighty aid
Victory bring.
May he sedition hush,
And like a torrent rush,
Rebellious Scots to crush.
God save the Queen!

I quite like Scotland and have no desire to crush them, personally I think "Singing in the Rain" would be a more appropriate Anthem and alot more god-dammed cheerful.

I digress from the weird and wonderful insights into my head.

Pain and crushing people now leads me on to the Sadist oops I mean the Dentist! You really have to be some sort of Sadomasochist to be a Dentist through really. Who would choose a profession that involved putting your hands in someones mouth and then drilling at it with power tools!!!
Another thing whats with the Pink yucky water they make you drink! whilst half your face is numb, so you dribble the whole contents down yourself looking like you have just had a stroke!

Why do they try and talk to you as well! Cus obviously you can answer with there hand in your gob!!!! In those sort of situation you don't want to talk you just want to close your eyes and get it over with.

Its like gynecologists, no sorry while I am in the most embarrassing position I will ever be in my life I don't want you asking if I had a good weekend, or If I have been on holiday, can they tell from down there!!!! It should be a rule no talking aloud, a bit like a library, with less shushing and hopefully less people as well.

Oh well thats enough of that for now need to go and face the music, and let the Sadistic little woman put her hands in my mouth and try not to choke me, and me to try not to bite her!!

Hope these ramblings cheered up your day

:)

Oh what a lovely weekend

Sorry about the gap between post but all will be explained

Guess I have been having fun again,

After my disastrous day the other day, the rest of the week disappeared into a stream of nothingness. I looked forward to the weekend, a break in the monotony of my week yay!

I woke up bright and breezy on Saturday morning, well I got up maybe bright and breezy is to much, but I was up. Managed to eat my breakfast and get dressed for my Saturday morning riding lesson. I tootle off fully suited and booted.

I arrive to find out we are going on a hack (a walk on the roads, bridleways etc), lovely, the weather did look a little dubious but it make a change from the normal lesson so what the hay. Accept for the fact they haven't booked me in last week! So they tell one on the small children who hang round riding centres to go and tack up Saxon, a 16ish hands bay, who is one of my favorites. YAY

So I follow this small child to Saxons stable an stand and watch her try to tack up Saxon, this was highly amusing as they seemed not to have a clue! Holding the bit next to the horses mouth whilst the bridle was dragging on the floor, with Saxon just turning his head and saying "No", moving again "I don't think so", Moving again "What do you want me to Do". They did manage in the end, and to my defence I did offer to help.

Now comes the fun bit, the Hack all was going well except for a small yappy dog behind a hedge, till I hear the grumblings of a motorbike behind me, whilst we were on a small country lane. I am at the back so shout up the the rest of the ride that a motorbike is coming, (there is about 7 kids on the ride and me and two instructor type people) I relax and put my leg on a bit, Saxon tends to take confidence from the rider, so try to be calm and confident. I kept thinking the motorbike will slow down in a minute....

It didn't!

Chaos erupts, Saxon rears and spins and I end up in a hedge, being some what horsey my first reaction is "aaarrrgghhh my horse is loose" so I disentangle myself from the bush and grab Saxon and glance around to see 6 of the 7 kids on the floor, one horse standing in a ditch. One horse standing shaking and ponies doing what ponies do best, PANIC PANIC oooo a tasty tree munch munch munch. The one horse who I expected to freak, (who previously during the hack had spooked at a bird, a dog, a armchair in the bushes, a road sign) was standing itching her nose with the rider still on.

That's when I felt it, my finger, it was drooped down and extremely painful! I could straighten it at all. This meant I had to be lead back, all the kids were fine btw, children bounce better than me it seems. Also a trip up the local walk in centre with Gemma my partner, after I drove very carefully back home.

She was also doing horsey things with our friend Debi, so we are sitting in a pristine waiting room in jodhpurs boots and chaps. For those of you who aren't horsey, horses have a very particular smell, which is vaguely unpleasant and lingers for a while. So we decide to sit away from everyone up a corner. Before this the receptionist asked if I had anyone with me and what there relationship to me was, I suppose I could have said my friend, but was feeling particular Narky and decided to tell her I was with my partner and her name is Gemma. The whole waiting rooms head spun round to look at me just as Gemma walked in (it was mainly full on old ladies and Gentleman), so I spent the rest of my time in the waiting room, smelling and being stared at. Fun, Gemma also pointed on a child who looked about 7 was behaving better than me!

In the end it was only sprained but I can't do any sport for at least three weeks grrr.

I hope this explains why it has been so long between posts, but typing with your fingers strapped together is a long and drawn out process and I decided to wait till I could use them to some degree before I attempted to type anything as long as this.

infamy infamy they have all got it in for me

Well I kept thinking I wanna start a blog, but what the hell can I put on it. Surely no-one wants to read about my boring little life!

But my good friend Debi then pointed out I actually live in the middle of a soap opera the majority of the time. Sooooo here goes!

A fantastic start to the day today, woke up at the normal time got dressed and then proceeded to sit and stare at the wall, in a completely monged out state, and not do what I normally do and make breakfast, get stuff ready for work etc. I then turned and looked at the clock and realise I was very nearly gonna be late (hmmm this isn't working for my non-boring blog). Have you ever done that disappeared to cloud Cuckoo land for an hour, where does that time go, personally I think that we don't just sit and stare, we achieve time travel and don't notice. OH NO there is a worm hole in my living room AARRRRGGHH.

Okay back to my day, so realising I am very nearly late I jump up and try to co-ordinate myself into moving, and quickly. I now know this was a bad idea, whilst trying to pull my boots on at speed I succeeded in falling over and banging my head on the Bannister! I quickly grab my bag and lunch and close that door and run to my car holding my head and swearing and trying to do up my boots! I get to my car and my bloody immobiliser wont turn off. Which involves me prising open my fob and messing with the connections on it. I finally turn it off and open my door to be greeted by my alarm blazing out, I close my door and mess with my fob again (with the neighbours glaring out of the window at me). I finally pull out of my drive and tootle off to work, still holding my head and wondering if I have slight concussion.

Then I meet the bane of my life, the neon orange Ladywell bus, this bus driver hates me. there is no other way to describe it. It lies in wait for me to cut me up, slow me down and generally be a right royal pain it the bum! Its stopped I try to pull off round it..... I hold my breath maybe today the driver will not try and kill me and be nice. BUT NOOOOOOO as I get level with the bus it pulls off, which means I have to speed off revving the backside off my little Rover to get past, I show my annoyance by peeping my horn. Which sounds like a good way to show my displeasure, but forget I am not in my old car, and just end up indicating wildly at him instead. So all the bus driver get to see is a crazy woman holding her head who doesn't know where she is going, by the time I realise what I am doing I am too far away for my well deserved peeping to have an effect.

I arrive at work (on time, well done me!!) to find my boss leaving, be back in a hour 2 hours later and I am still waiting for him to come back, and I can't do anything till he gets back so I check my head for bleeding and wonder if I am acting weird (hard to tell cause my behavior is some what strange at times anyway) a sure sign of concussion and decide to try this blog.

That's it up to yet! How my day will progress is a mystery.

Yestardays history, tommorrows a mystery, todays a gift thats why its called the present

You hopefully have noticed my title "infamy infamy they have all got it in for me" this doesn't mean I am some sort of manic depressive, just that they should have called me calamity Jane, most of it brought on by my slightly absent minded self (well that's the nice way of putting it, my friends call it ditsy)

Hope you enjoy!!